Many fundraisers spend years refining how they present their organization’s story. But even the most compelling narrative can fall flat if it’s delivered in the wrong way — not because the message is weak, but because it doesn’t align with how the donor prefers to receive information.
That’s where understanding listening preferences becomes a game-changer.
The Four Listening Styles
In Listen Up by Larry Barker and Kittie Watson, four primary listening preferences are defined: People-Oriented, Action-Oriented, Content-Oriented, and Time-Oriented. Each of these preferences shapes how a person engages with what you say.
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People-Oriented listeners are relational. They connect through emotion, personal stories, and shared experiences.
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Action-Oriented listeners focus on outcomes and efficiency. They want clear direction, a defined plan, and next steps.
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Content-Oriented listeners look for facts, data, and logic. They need supporting evidence and credible sources.
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Time-Oriented listeners prioritize structure. They value brief, timely communication with clear timeframes and limits.
Here’s the thing: you usually speak in the same style you listen.
So maybe you and your donor aren’t actually connecting because you aren’t speaking in their preferred way.
It’s been my experience that most fundraisers naturally lean toward a People-Oriented communication style — it fits our mission-driven work and personal approach. But not all donors process information the same way. A donor who prefers data or efficiency may disconnect from an emotional story if it lacks substance or a clear call to action.
Recognizing the disconnect isn’t a critique — it’s an opportunity. When you notice that a donor isn’t “getting it,” consider adjusting how you communicate rather than what you’re saying.
Asking Better Questions, Listening with Intention
The most effective fundraisers don’t just share stories — they ask strategic questions and listen carefully to the answers. Over time, patterns emerge. A donor might consistently respond to timelines and metrics, or they might recall personal anecdotes and values from previous conversations. These are clues to their listening preference.
By observing how a donor responds to different types of information, you can begin to tailor your language to match their style. That might mean shifting from a story about an individual beneficiary to outlining specific goals and outcomes. Or it could mean offering a white paper or chart instead of a testimonial video.
This isn’t about manipulating the conversation. It’s about honoring the donor’s preferred communication style so that your message is received clearly and fully. It’s also about being aware of your own default mode and stepping outside of it when needed. That level of intentionality requires preparation — not just showing up to a meeting and hoping something resonates.
Not sure how to change your message to a different listener type? Ask the Clarkbot.
Resources to Help You Customize Your Approach
If you want to explore listening preferences further, we recommend reading Listen Up by Barker and Watson. It includes an assessment to help you identify your own style — a valuable first step in becoming more adaptable in your communication.
You’ll also find tools in our Resource Library to support this kind of donor engagement work. We’ve created a worksheet that can help you develop multiple versions of your elevator pitch based on different donor types. These aren’t scripts, they’re prompts to help you frame your message in the language your donor understands best.
If you’re looking for real-time support, the Clarkbot was designed for exactly this kind of challenge. It’s available 24/7 to help you reflect on donor conversations, test out how you might rephrase a message, or prepare a tailored follow-up. Whether you’re communicating with a People-, Action-, Content-, or Time-Oriented donor, the Clarkbot can help you align your messaging quickly and effectively.
You can access the Clarkbot and explore the full library of tools at majorgiftsfundraiser.com. If you’re already a subscriber, log in and start using these tools to prepare for your next meeting with more clarity and purpose.