Every fundraiser knows the tension. You’ve got the budget deadline staring you down, your programs need support, the board is waiting for results—and you’re thinking about asking a donor for a gift. You may already have the meeting scheduled. You’re rehearsing the words in your head. You’re picturing the ask. And somewhere in your heart, you’re asking yourself: Am I doing this because we need the money, or because this is the next right thing for my donor?
That’s not an easy question. Because yes, you do need the money. That’s reality. But fundraising at its best has never been about squeezing dollars out of people to meet your immediate needs. Fundraising is about relationships, transformation, and joy. If your donor walks away feeling pressured, depleted, or simply “used,” even if they say yes, you’ve lost something greater than the gift.
So here’s the question to keep front and center: Is asking right now the next right thing in this relationship?
Fundraising as an Act of Service
I once worked with Mark and Katie Landis, co-founders of Creative Grounds Fine Arts Academy, a children’s theater in Indianapolis. They’re not just theater directors—they’re mentors. They pour their lives into their students, investing far beyond the stage.
When we worked together on ambitious fundraising goals, Mark and Katie could have easily slipped into scarcity mode: We need the money. We’ve never raised this much before. How are we going to do this? But instead of chasing every donor with a financial ask, they adopted a simple mantra: Do the next right thing.
That meant honoring their donors as much as their students. Before every ask, they would ask themselves:
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Will this strengthen or weaken my relationship with the donor?
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Will this help the donor grow as a human being?
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Will this contribute to a joyous giving experience, so that my donor will want to give more—here and elsewhere—in the future?
That’s the spirit of true fundraising. Not “you give, I get.” But “I serve you by inviting you to invest in work that matters.” Asking became an act of service—not just to their mission, but to their donors.
It’s easy to forget that in the heat of deadlines. It’s easy to reduce fundraising to transactions. But when you reframe the ask as a way to bless your donor, everything changes. The ask stops being a burden you’re placing on their shoulders and becomes an opportunity for them to step into something bigger than themselves.
Do the Next Right Thing
Here’s where the pain point comes in. You’ve been in that dark place. The goals feel overwhelming. You wonder if you’ll make budget. You’re carrying the weight of your mission, and it feels like everything is riding on your shoulders. In those moments, the temptation is strong to push too hard with donors, to let urgency override wisdom.
But when you’re staring down the pressure, you don’t need to figure everything out at once. You don’t need to line up every dollar or predict every outcome. You need to focus on the next right thing.
Sometimes that means asking boldly, because the relationship is ready. Other times it means holding back, investing in the relationship a little more, and trusting the timing. Either way, the key is to keep the donor at the center—not your budget.
When you consistently choose the next right thing with your donors, you don’t just raise money. You build relational abundance. You create a community of people who feel deeply connected to your mission, who are inspired to give again and again—not out of obligation, but out of joy. That’s where long-term sustainability comes from.
Your Next Step
So let me ask you: Are you making asks because you need the money—or because it’s the next right thing for your donor? The answer to that question will shape not just your fundraising results, but the trust and joy you build with your supporters.
If you’re feeling stuck—if you’re not sure whether to move forward with a donor or wait—I want to help you. Send me your situation. Email me. Don’t wonder alone, don’t second-guess yourself into paralysis. I’ll walk through it with you, and if I can help you see the next right thing, I’ll consider that a win.
And while you’re here, I want to invite you to listen to the Major Gifts Fundraiser podcast. Every week we dig into real-life fundraising challenges and strategies to help you raise more money and build deeper relationships with your donors. If the podcast has encouraged you, share it with a colleague, follow it on your favorite platform, and leave a review. Your engagement helps us reach more fundraisers just like you—people committed to raising money in ways that honor and serve donors.
Don’t just chase dollars. Do the next right thing. That’s how you build fundraising that lasts.