If your donor meetings still lean on brochures, “just checking in” emails, and a fast follow-up ask, you’re leaving major gifts on the table. The best development work isn’t luck—it’s disciplined listening, mission-forward storytelling, and asking only when the answer is likely to be “yes.”
Here are the field-tested lessons I keep returning to (and keep teaching):
1) Lead with mission. Programs are the vehicle.
Start by naming the problem you exist to solve. Then show how your programs are the way you solve it. Too many appeals open with “how” before establishing “why.” Flip the order.
2) Money isn’t the problem.
There’s plenty of money chasing mediocre ideas. What’s scarce is trust and clarity. Close the relational gap and the money follows.
3) Donors give to change lives.
Your line items don’t move hearts; changed lives do. Be precise about whose life will be different and how you measure it.
4) Listen like a professional.
After each meeting, write down: “% of time I talked vs. % donor talked.” When you know you’ll log it, you’ll talk less and learn more. What you measure improves.
5) Don’t “just ask.” Cultivate and ask.
I ask for a gift when I believe the answer will be “yes.” That means I’ve asked strategic questions, observed listening preferences, clarified interests, and brought both spouses into the conversation. “It doesn’t hurt to ask” can, in fact, hurt.
6) Emotion moves big gifts.
Logic opens the door; emotion carries the gift over the threshold. The larger the gift, the more visceral the decision. Tell true, specific stories of impact.
7) Meet with both spouses.
If both aren’t in the room, you won’t be there to answer objections later. Whenever possible, be in the living room, not just the office or a noisy lunch.
8) Make the case bigger than your organization.
Community, nation, world—then your distinctive role. Don’t be organization-centric; be mission-centric.
9) Build the habit of giving.
Invite first-time or reluctant givers into smaller, meaningful commitments and grow with them. You don’t start a new runner with an ultra-marathon.
10) Recognition always matters (even if the donor wants none).
Ask how they want to be acknowledged. Alignment reduces friction and builds trust.
11) Steward the past to fund the future.
The people most likely to give to you tomorrow are those who gave yesterday. Treat them like partners—because they are.
12) Never assume insiders are “already sold.”
Board members, volunteers, long-time friends—they still need to feel the drama of the mission. Keep telling the story.
13) Do your homework.
Know their giving history, interests, household context, and recent moves before you walk in. Preparation is respect.
14) Eventually, you must ask.
After real cultivation, make a clear, specific ask that ties back to the mission the donor has already embraced.
If you want to hear these ideas unpacked with more examples, I’ve recorded a companion podcast episode. But you don’t need the audio to take action. Pick one or two of the lessons above, implement them on your next five donor interactions, and watch the quality of your conversations—and your results—change.
Questions or want feedback on an upcoming ask? Email me at Clark@MajorGiftsFundraiser.com.
P.S. If you like having structured prompts, role-play, and on-demand coaching, try the Clarkbot on our site. It’s designed to help you prep meetings, refine asks, and write donor-centric copy—fast.